ChurchofStan

What We Believe In the Church of Stan.

Unfortunately, we can't tell you.

OK, we can tell you some of the stuff, but most of that stuff is ugly and will make you die.

Remember Neo in The Matrix.
When they first brought him on board and told him the truth, he freaked, blew chunks and passed out.

The Church of Stan faces the same dilemma. We need to tell you, but we can't tell you all at once because it conflicts dramatically with your current version of reality.

Likewise, there is a silver lining (remember Neo flying around fighting bad guys). Well it's something like that. But you can't get to that point without first going through the blowing chunks part.

The important difference is, you have free choice. We can't force you. You're not stuck on our hover-ship with nowhere else to go. The problem with that is, instead of going through the trauma, most people would rather just discount us and move on.

So instead, we have secrets... a lot of them.

This keeps the curious involved enough to take the baby steps necessarily to move through this uncomfortable process.

We serve as a resource and support group as we direct you to certain topics of research. We use a lot of berating, tough love and humor to these ends. We've also found that large amounts of alcohol and toga's seem to help smooth this process.

And seeing how you're probably going to puke or at least feel crappy in the morning, I might as well dump some heavy info on you while you're drunk. Philosophy tends to stick better when you're drunk. It's kind of a direct access to your subconscious, without your protective "anti-reality" bubble around you. Then when you sober up, you can delete it or examine it, but at least it's there without you freaking out so much.

Suffice to say,

there is a lot of good stuff we'd like to share with you, but we can't, because new initiates are too pansy-ass to deal with it.

The best way, unfortunately, is to take the dark road toward the evil agendas in the world. This way when you realize what we say is real, that your reality sucks and that you're going to die, you will be pleading with us to share our enlightened solutions that have always been here waiting for you. You are a sad excuse for intelligent, but that's also human nature. And human nature wins most of the time.
(human nature = core-beliefs)

There is plenty of bad stuff we know, and can share with you. Read Secret Stuff We Know. Do some research. Buy our book Stuff We Believe. Start learning about ValchemyTM.

We watch and we know.

And we look forward to sharing everything we know, but to only those who won't puke on us.

May the brutal truth of the Church of Stan be upon you.

- The Church of Stan Elders
- Grand Master Stan

elders@churchofstan.com

Devote T's:

ChurchofStan.com
because you're going to die

The International ChurchofStan.com
because you're going to die

Stuff We Believe:
(required reading)

VALCHEMY:
(foundational philosophy)

Rules of Life:
(advanced philosophy)